Posts Tagged ‘funny’

The Saints of Science!

October 13, 2012

 

Context if you’ve never seen saints bracelets before.

Via reddit

In case you missed it: George R R on Wait Wait

September 18, 2012

Mr. Martin Himself was on Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me this weekend. Click here for a listen.

They went over the usual things you’ve heard (turtles, friends becoming characters in the books). It was pretty funny though, especially this part:

P. J. O’ROURKE: George, this is P. J. I have a question. Did this proceed from a personal fantasy of your own?

MARTIN: Well, you know, if you go back to my childhood again…

O’ROURKE: Yeah, that’s what I actually meant, from a childhood fantasy.

MARTIN: The only pets that I could have were turtles. And I had this castle, this toy castle made of tin. And it was just big enough for two of those turtle bowls that you bought in…

O’ROURKE: Yeah, in the five and dime, yeah.

MARTIN: …Woolworth’s store. And so I kept all my turtles inside the castle. And since they lived in a castle, I decided they were all knights and kings and I started making up stories where they betrayed each other.

(LAUGHTER)

MARTIN: And they would die.

O’ROURKE: Wonderful.

MARTIN: You know, these knights were turtles, like die if you looked if you look at them crooked.

O’ROURKE: Right, yeah, I remember.

SAGAL: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that the original model for the warring houses of Stark and Lannister were two turtles?

MARTIN: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

MARTIN: So Turtle Castle, that was the root of the whole thing, yes.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Well let me ask one question here, because what I’m hearing is that there’s a lot of sex in this and I’m not sure…

PIERCE: How did you get there from turtles?

(LAUGHTER)

MARTIN: Yeah, the turtles didn’t have sex.

ROBERTS: No, no, no, but…

MARTIN: I was not into turtle sex.

ROBERTS: But is there more sex in your world than in other fantasies? I’m the impression that there’s this whole…

PIERCE: It is a fantasy, Roxanne.

Upside-down celebrity pictures

February 26, 2010

There is an entire site’s worth of these. A LOT of people spent time doing this.

Old Clint

Barbara Schoneberger

Reese Witherspoon

The Beatles: a look back in the year 3000 (Scottie Pippen was my fav Beatle)

November 24, 2009

Saw it here

November 7, 2009

Will Forte reads from Tommy Lee’s autobiography:

“we did it again and again that night until we were sure that we were in love.”

Jeopardy winner, “jokester”

November 5, 2009

 What happens when someone ruffles Trebek’s feathers: “you.. jokester, you.” I wonder what he would have called him if it had been adult Jeopardy. Also, I wonder how many times a day he hears “suck it Trebek” from passing cars.

source

Gov. Schwarzenegger, master of the literary two-fold meaning

October 28, 2009

Gov. Schwarzenegger has exposed his literati side to you, writing into his veto of a bill a subtle second message. This apparent homage to the poetic scheme Edgar Allen Poe used in writing love poems makes one question whether he is actually the ‘roided ex-Enron puppet we all thought he was. Wait, no it doesn’t. This is the crap fifth graders pull on their homework (I know–I was a fifth grader). But still, the funniest part is that he’s proud enough of it that he put it up on his web site. And here it is, that you may be groped by its magnificence:

AB1176_Ammiano_Veto_Message

 

Read the first letters of the columns. I bet Chuck Grassley starts writing entire bills like this.

A new million-dollar!? book for the fancy-pantsies

August 26, 2009

This is stupid. If you buy this, you are stupid.

I knew it! Never trust a comic book collector

August 26, 2009

DENVER, Colorado (CNN) — Investigators in Colorado say they have broken up a massive methamphetamine ring in the Denver area that distributed pounds of the dangerous drug every week and laundered the profits using collectible comic books.

Real Good Moments in Journalism

August 12, 2009

C’mon Niall Ferguson. Mr. Harvard. Mr. economics outsider. You thought writing President Obama’s presidency can be summed up as black and lucky was OK? This guy’s smart enough to know that would get him a lot of attention. It’s the editors who let it slide who made the mistake of not making him rephrase it. And the funny thing is, he’s not really bashing Obama that much. Absent that stupid phrase it’s a benign commentary.

The column lede:

President Barack Obama reminds me of Felix the Cat. One of the best-loved cartoon characters of the 1920s, Felix was not only black. He was also very, very lucky. And that pretty much sums up the 44th president of the US as he takes a well-earned summer break after just over six months in the world’s biggest and toughest job.

But then, perhaps the funniest part is Ferguson’s journalism mess-up number two, defending himself against critics (see my recent Real Good Moment in Journalism about Dennis Kneale). All dude had to say was, “Sorry, wrong choice of words, but you can easily see what I meant… ” and he would have gotten some attention and everyone would have forgotten about it tomorrow. But, noooo. And now an entire population who had never heard of Niall Ferguson now just thinks of him as the dude who stumbles around saying things like Obama’s like a black cat, but not because it’s black, just because it’s lucky and more lucky because it’s black. But not an African American cat. 

 

 

Consequently, I have a black cat. And she’s outraged.

He told the Huffington Post:

So it’s racist to compare President Obama with Felix the Cat? Oh dear, the seemingly dead body of political correctness just twitched. Let’s try logic, shall we?

1. Black cats are proverbially lucky.

2. Felix the cartoon character was a black cat, not an African-American cat – in other words, he was not one of the (quite numerous) 1920s figures in popular entertainment that mocked the mannerisms of the descendants of slaves.

3. Obama is a lucky president — so far. Compare his first six months with Carter’s and Clinton’s if you don’t get that bit.

4. As for the word “black”, it’s the same one used by the Congressional Black Caucus and the Harvard Black Alumni Society, among others.

The piece made an important point about the biggest threat to Obama’s presidency: the seemingly uncontrollable deficit. That’s the issue the Huffington Post should be focusing on, not politically correct claptrap.

Update: AAAAND, he later went to Paul Krugman with more griping. A scholarly/journalistic excellence hat-trick!

Consequently, I have a black cat. And she is outraged.

A rare glimpse at the first draft of Lord of the Flies!

August 11, 2009

Saw it on The Big Picture

Awful library books

July 30, 2009

Awful Library Books  is a pretty funny blog. It compiles real books found in libraries. Saw it on Why That’s Delightful.

passion for donkeys

craftsforretarded

bookformen

Speaking of a passion for aminals, did you hear about the guy who got busted for second offense having-sex-with-someone-else’s-horse? It was the same horse, and he was still on probation from the first conjugal visit. He’s nothing if not loyal.

Real Good Moments in Journalism

July 1, 2009

Journalists get their say when they print their opinions–when they get flack, they can choose to ignore it, but it’s bad form to “double dip” and use their mass media outlet to go after people who subsequently say they disagree with the journalist. That said, I’m forced to watch CNBC at work (finance job) and I almost never get anything of worth out of listening to Dennis Kneale being  an “expert” on every subject thrown in front of him. Now this “epic rant” against bloggers who disagree with him, as reported on the HuffPost. Sheesh.

Cheney announces memoir publication, to announce author next week

June 24, 2009

Dick Cheney has, of course, announced he will be publishing his memoirs. And it sounds as though he is close to announcing who the author will be. As of yet, the response has been, “None of your fucking business.” Coincidentally, that’s the title of the first chapter.

June 24, 2009

soyfuckers anonymous

source

Judge Orders Former Exec to Write a Book

June 10, 2009

This is from the NY Times

On Monday, Judge Ricardo M. Urbina of the United States District Court for the District of Columbia, sentenced a former senior pharmaceutical executive to write a book.

Earlier this year the executive, Dr. Andrew G. Bodnar, a former senior vice president at Bristol-Myers Squibb, had pleaded guilty to making a false statement to the federal government about the company’s efforts to resolve a patent dispute over the blood thinner Plavix.

The judge sentenced Dr. Bodnar to two years of probation during which he is to write a book about his experience connected to the case. Dr. Bodnar must also pay a $5,000 fine.

Elkan Abramowitz, Dr. Bodnar’s lawyer, said he had never before heard of a case in which a judge sentenced a defendant to write a book.

 

June 10, 2009

T-Shirt of the Day (1 of 2): “Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout Mondays?!” from TV Carnage. Excuse me while I cry myself to sleep at how impossibly awesome this is. [via.]

A shirt from TV Carnage… yeah, what the hell ARE you talking about Mondays?

source.

 

Heavy Metal Farmer

June 9, 2009

When I miss Des Moines, all I have to do is watch this video and I’m back. This is what the Des Moines music scene sounded like for years. Really.

Smell of Books spray adds to e-book reading experience.

June 9, 2009

Smell of Books, now available in five designer aromas

Another e-book problem solved, this time by Smell of Books aroma spray. I would probably go for Classic Musty Scent, but Eau, You Have Cats sounds promising. From the looks of the site, they’ve done some extensive e-device compatibility testing, but please note from the warnings section that Smell of Books is not for use with “real” books, nor with a Zune!

Muscle March–the WTF Wii game of the year

May 18, 2009

I don’t know… I don’t know.

 

I saw it on videogum