Posts Tagged ‘movies’

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps reviews

May 14, 2010
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Good NYT article on Big Lebowski dissertations and books

December 30, 2009

I liked the title too: ‘Dissertations on His Dudeness’ Here

Movie industry to world: Do NOT F with us

December 4, 2009

A theater had someone arrested for recording her sister’s birthday party on a small digital camera because it included a little Twilight footage with the friends talking over it. This is a felony charge! Do not bring your own candy, they will go GITMO ON YOU!!

From the sound of the article, the theater called police on her, police were not that impressed with the birthday footage’s criminal content, but the theater insisted on pressing charges. Before this, another report says an usher saw her taking photos of her family in the theater but gave no warning. The alleged felon says police were nice to her and seemed sympathetic. She served two nights in jail before she could get out (no bond required), and faces three years! That would be about a year for each minute of grainy digital camera footage she took of the movie!

Why no articles name the theater, I do not know. There is no reason to protect the name of the accuser in this instance.

Copyright holders could use all of the help they can get right now. They do not need this! Message to theaters: wait till you find someone who was actually taping a movie before you make your strongarm move. We’ll all support you then. Till then chillax, a-holes.

Being Crockett Johnson

September 3, 2009

So, Spike Jonze apparently worked for more than a year developing a live adaptation of Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson. Then, of course, it was scuttled by the studio. When will execs learn to just let Jonze be Jonze? Good things always follow.

An interview with Guillermo del Toro about his new book and the Hobbit

June 10, 2009

Guillermo del Toro to shepherd the supernatural \<i\>Mama\<\/i\>

The Philadelphia Inquirer interviewed one of my favorite directors, Guillermo del Toro (Hellboy, Pan’s Labyrinth) about a vampire novel he co-wrote with Chuck Hogan.

The idea scares me–there’s a particular series of vampire books out there that has overdone vampire love to an extreme degree. Like me, it seems del Toro largely rejects the “romantic” vampire, and the interview persuades me it could be a really good book. Another thing that portends goodness: Fox apparently rejected a TV version, asking him if he had any vampire comedies.

Del Toro does not waste time with things someone else could write; he thinks, and he tends toward his unique interpretation of a subject, vampire genitalia included. And, since I have not been following The Hobbit news, this interview was the first time I learned that del Toro is involved with The Hobbit movie.

From another blog I found today, here’s an example of how he approaches a subject (in this case, Smaug the dragon)

Smaug should not be “the Dragon in The Hobbit movie” as if it was just “another” creature in a Bestiary. Smaug should be “The Dragon” for all movies past and present. The shadow he cast and the greed he comes to embody- the “need to own” casts its long shadow and creates a thematic / dramatic continuity of sorts that articulates the story throughout. In that respect, Smaug the character is as important, if not more important, than the dragon. The character will emerge from the writing—and in that the magnificent arrogance, intelligence, sophistication, and greed of Smaug shine through.” In fact, Thorin’s greed is a thematic extension of this and Bilbo’s “Letting go” and his noble switching of sides when the dwarves prove to be in the wrong is its conceptual counterpart (that is a hard one to get through, Bilbo’s heroism is a quiet, moral one) and the thematic thread reaches its climax in the Bilbo / Thorin death bed scene.

You couldn’t pick anyone better… of course, if he were really in charge, the hobbit would probably suffer a tragic death in the end. Maybe don’t give him complete control of that one…

Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

April 16, 2009

This is hilarious… uncomfortable plot summaries of movies, shows and books. I found this on Cynical-C’s blog, and CC originally got it from here. I made the mistake of reading this while I was in class, and my professor now thinks he’s a funny guy. I had to stop reading, but it didn’t matter as the Batman synopsis kept popping back in my head. This list is from the link, which has many more:

  • 25TH HOUR: White New Yorkers commit crimes against both law and ethics; feel bad for being caught, rather than for doing it at all.  
  • 8 MILE: White man successfully coopts black culture to impress other whites.
  • A CIVIL ACTION: Underqualified lawyer doesn’t listen to clients, royally botches case.
  • A CRY IN THE DARK: Dogs eat baby, confusion follows.
  • ALIEN: Ship fails to deliver cargo, crew don’t get bonus.
  • ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON: Tourist causes riot.
  • ATLAS SHRUGGED: Selfish industrialist destroys economy.  
  • BATMAN: Wealthy man assaults the mentally ill.
  • BEAUTY AND THE BEAST: Peasant girl develops Stockholm Syndrome.
  • BEOWULF: Colonists hire assassin to drive natives from land.
  • BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: Redneck trucker kills Chinese immigrants.  
  • BLADE RUNNER: Man with no apparent skill stumbles into escaped robots, fails to kill most, fucks one.  
  • BOOGIE NIGHTS: Deformed boy goaded into life of crime.
  • BOTTLE ROCKET: Mentally unstable man fosters friend’s descent into mental instability, finds love.
  • BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY’S: Pretty redneck girl fools socialites, flirts with gay gigolo.
  • BREWSTER’S MILLIONS: Black man abuses line of credit.
  • BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER: Teenage serial killer destroys town in fit of semi-religious fervor.
  • CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY: Deranged pedophile big-business industrialist tortures and mutilates young children.
  • CHASING AMY: Homosexuality proved to be passing fancy and sign of sexual deviance.
  • CHEERS: Alcoholic cuts lime in bar as penance for his womanizing ways.
  • CHRISTMAS VACATION: Incestuous relatives teach family the meaning of Christmas.
  • CLERKS: Aimless loser remains in dead-end job, abusive “friendship.”
  • CONAN THE BARBARIAN: Petty thief murders religious leader.  
  • CUJO: Family neglects to give family pet rabies shots, pays price.
  • DARK KNIGHT RETURNS: Aging sadist corrupts, endangers minor, facilitates murder, destroys superhero comic books for 30 years.
  • DEADWOOD: Pimp and rapist charms frontier town into eventual fire-based disaster.
  • DEBBIE DOES DALLAS: Cheerleaders develop valuable entrepreneurial skills.
  • DELIVERANCE: Tourists experience local hospitality.
  • DEMOLITION MAN: In a future where crime is completely eradicated, a black man steals and murders.
  • DIE HARD: Dysfunctional cop saves marriage by murdering foreign national.
  • DIRTY HARRY: Police incompetence allows murderer to go free.
  • DOCTOR FAUSTUS: Scholar leans nuances of contract law.
  • DOCTOR WHO: Elderly man serially abducts young women.
  • DONNIE DARKO: Hallucinating teen crushed by airplane engine.
  • DRACULA: Immigrant clashes with locals.
  • E.T.: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.  
  • FALLING DOWN: Life is difficult for white men.
  • FERRIS BUELLER’S DAY OFF: Amoral narcissist makes world dance for his amusement.
  • FIELD OF DREAMS: Schizophrenic builds ball park, almost kills girl.
  • FIGHT CLUB: Deranged sociopath guides yuppies to their deaths.
  • FRANKENSTEIN: Scientific advancement proves unpopular with general public.   
  • GHOSTBUSTERS: Unemployed college professors destroy hotel with nuclear weapons.
  • GLADIATOR: Convict murders head of state.
  • GLENGARRY, GLENN ROSS: Sales job proves difficult for some.  
  • GREEN ARROW: Rich white man with Robin Hood fetish goes vigilante.
  • GREEN LANTERN: Policeman beats up his girlfriend.
  • GROUNDHOG DAY: Misanthropic creep exploits space/time anomaly to stalk coworker.
  • HARRY POTTER: Celebrity Jock thinks rules don’t apply to him, is right.
  • HIGHLANDER: Elderly immigrant destroys property.
  • IRON MAN: Alcoholic rich white man with technology fetish goes vigilante.
  • WAR MACHINE: Alcoholic rich white man gives weapons to black man. 
  • JUDGE DREDD: Fascist thug in bleak dystopia is cheered.
  • JUNO: Teen fails to get abortion, ruins lives.
  • JURASSIC PARK: Theme park’s grand opening pushed back.
  • KARATE KID: Boy gains acceptance through violence.
  • KILL BILL: Irresponsible mother wants custody of her child.
  • KINDERGARTEN COP: Incompetent left in charge of children, who are eventually fired at by convicted felon.
  • KING KONG: Endangered animal stolen, shot.  
  • LA CONFIDENTIAL: Rapist joins thug in foiling police corruption scheme.
  • LARS AND THE REAL GIRL: Retarded man doesn’t know what sex toy is for.
  • LASSIE COME HOME: Family abandons beloved pet, forcing it to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
  • LOLITA: Man encourages step-daughter to take chances.
  • LONE WOLF MCQUADE: Alcoholic assaults local businessman, ruins marriage.
  • LORD OF THE RINGS: Midget destroys stolen property.
  • LOVE ACTUALLY: Prime Minister risks war with United States over a sexy secretary.
  • MARLEY AND ME: Out-of-control pet causes mayhem, sadness.
  • METROPOLIS: Efficient society undone by unions.
  • MICHAEL CLAYTON: Attorney works against client’s interests.
  • MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL: British comedy troupe inadvertently creates language lab for nerds.
  • MULHOLLAND DRIVE: Lesbian relationship is harmful.
  • MY GIRL: Boy killed by female friend’s irresponsibility.  
  • O BROTHER WHERE ART THOU: Southern musicians encounter massive flooding and government incompetence.
  • OCEAN’S ELEVEN: Gang of career criminals commit act of terror to facilitate robbery and romance.
  • OF MICE AND MEN: Migrant farmer murders mentally handicapped friend.  
  • PRIDE AND PREJUDICE: Woman with gold-digging mother nags wealthy man into marriage.
  • PYGMALION: Urchin cured by social betters.
  • RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK: American yahoo murders soldiers and desecrates religious artifacts for money.
  • RAISING ARIZONA: Convicted felon seduces police officer in kidnapping plot.
  • RAMBO III: The United States provides arms, equipment and training to the terrorists behind 9/11.
  • RATATOUILLE: Vermin infest restaurant until it is forced to close doors.
  • RAVENOUS: Coward is seduced by cannibal, destroys army outpost.
  • RISKY BUSINESS: Privileged rich kid gets everything he wants with no consequences.
  • ROBIN HOOD: Disgruntled veteran protests taxes.
  • ROBOCOP: Female officer’s incompetence leads partner to be murdered and enslaved by corporation.  
  • ROSEMARY’S BABY: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • RUDY: Diminutive athlete patronized.
  • RUSHMORE: Teen molests teacher, is expelled. Finds love.
  • SCARFACE: Immigrant finds running his own business stressful, dangerous.  
  • SE7EN: Homicide detectives unable to prevent even a single murder by admitted serial killer, killer gives cop head.
  • SHORT CIRCUIT: Rogue scientist steals top-secret government weapon.
  • SIGNS: Jesus trumps science. 
  • SLEEPY HOLLOW: Veteran harassed.
  • SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT: Redneck bootlegger makes mockery of law, sanctity of marriage.
  • SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS: Layabout stepdaughter shacks up with seven miners.
  • SOPHIE’S CHOICE: Mom loves one of her kids way more than the other one.
  • SOUTHLAND TALES: Traumitized vet destroys universe.
  • SPIDER-MAN: Nerd gets bitten by spider, complains about how this ruins his life for years to come.
  • STARDUST: Misfit discovers he is special person in secret world just beside our own.
  • STAR TREK: Over-sexed officer routinely places crew in danger.
  • STAR TREK THE MOTION PICTURE: Meglomaniac can’t let go of past glory, drives successor to suicide.
  • STAR TREK III: Military officers steal vessel and destroy it to eliminate a handful of enemies while engaged on an extremely vague rescue mission.
  • STAR TREK IV: Interplanetary fugitives poach wildlife from a past age to cover up an act of genocide.
  • STAR TREK VI: Racist military commander past his prime nearly ruins galactic peace.
  • STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
  • STAR WARS: EMPIRE STRIKES BACK: Boy is abused by midget, kisses sister, attempts patricide.
  • STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI: Handicapped mass murderer kills septugenarian, is lauded.
  • STRAW DOGS: Immigrant clashes with locals.
  • SUPERBAD: Boys plan date-rape, sleep together.
  • SUPERMAN RETURNS: Illegal immigrant is deadbeat dad.
  • SWEENEY TODD: Businesses flourish when freed from stringent regulation.
  • TAXI DRIVER: Modern dating proves challenging for working class man.
  • TERMINATOR: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.
  • TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: Tourists have difficulty with regional cuisine.
  • THE CONVERSATION: Paranoid schizophrenic follows worst possible career path.
  • THE CRYING GAME: Hairdresser bonds with client.
  • THE EDGE: Men bond in Alaskan wilderness.
  • THE EXORCIST: Jesus trumps science.
  • THE FIRM: White lawyer learns hard work is irrelevant.
  • THE GOLDEN COMPASS: Critique of Catholicism upstaged by polar bear fight.
  • THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY: Nameless drifter kills American soldier over stolen money, hangs friend.
  • THE GOONIES:  Physically abused, retarded man finds love with overweight preteen.
  • THE INCREDIBLE JOURNEY: Family abandons beloved pets, forcing them to engage in a dangerous cross-country journey.
  • THE NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS: Dangerous insurgent invades neighboring country.   
  • THE STEPFORD WIVES: Woman has difficulty adjusting to suburban life.
  • THE TAKING OF PELHAM 1 2 3: Civil servant insults and shoots foreigners.
  • THE THING: Unexpected visitor imposes on workers, their dogs.
  • THE UNTOUCHABLES: Murderer indicted on technicality.
  • THE WICKER MAN: Isolated religious community revitalized by newcomer.
  • THERE WILL BE BLOOD: Kidnapper commits murder several times.
  • TITANIC: Crazy old widow disregards lifelong memories of husband, children, and grandchildren in favor of that one time she fucked a bum.
  • TOP GUN: Pilot routinely endangers Air Traffic Controllers.
  • TRAINSPOTTING: Statutory rapist and junkie sifts through human waste, gets enormous sum of money.
  • TWILIGHT: Girl gives up college for stalker.
  • TWIN PEAKS: FIRE WALK WITH ME: Father becomes more involved in teenage daughter’s life.
  • V FOR VENDETTA: Dystopian government overthrown by faceless conformity.
  • W.: Unspeakable disaster afflicts America. Then terrorists attack.
  • WALL-E: Obsolete robot disrupts big business, disrupts lives of millions of innocent civilians.
  • WAR OF THE WORLDS: Immigrants face difficulty acclimating.   
  • WIZARD OF OZ: Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.
  • WONDER WOMAN: Princess from isolationist culture lectures Americans on equality.
  • WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.